On Conflict…

I know this is probably my Drama Queen nature rearing its head AGAIN, but tonight’s incident with Alan-san was a little unsettling for me. To my knowledge person to person conflict in the dojo hasn’t happened for quite some time. If/when it did happen in the past I was mostly insulated from it being a kid and a lower rank. What follows is me rambling about the situation because it upsets me, however I really am unclear why.

Tonight’s situation was resolved with no bloodshed, but having deal with this type of thing really sucks. I think I did the right thing to diffuse things before they escalated.

There was a voice inside of me that said “protect your Dad.” I know full good and well that my Dad does not need protecting from me. He’s been the strongest person I’ve ever known since I can remember, even as I’ve become an adult. I hope I would’ve had this same notion for anyone else, but it makes sense that I wouldn’t want to see my Dad get into harms way, or be put in the situation where he had to hurt someone to deter them.

I also wanted to ensure the safety of Alan-san, even though he was the instigator and completely wrong in his actions. The look my Dad had meant that he was ready to hit Alan so hard that his family would feel it if he continued his aggression. Dad did very well at controlling this emotion; he is never the one to throw the first punch and I’ve known that about him for a very long time. I also know that Alan-san wasn’t the brightest person in the world and he was about to do something that his skeletal structure would later regret. I didn’t want to see that happen to him.

At the same time I had another stronger instinct to preserve the peace of the dojo. The notion of peace in a place where people come expressly for learning and practice of a martial art is somewhat of a paradox. The fighting that goes on among peers that are honing a martial art is fundamentally different than “real” fights. The dojo has always been a safe place not just for myself, but several of my peers too. I didn’t want a real fight in the dojo to happen; I did not want bad temper and impetuousness to run out of control. I have to say that I am quite surprised that my mediating instinct won out, given the fact that I got a pretty solid hit of adrenaline when I saw that things were going bad.

This may sound hokey, but tonight I really felt like a black belt. I don’t think that I did anything spectacular, but things could’ve ended much worse than they did. Dealing with this stuff is by no means a fun part of the job and I’m glad Sensei Hartman was there to further resolve the situation. I just hope that we can now go for another 14+ years without another incident like this.