Steps to appearing religious on Time-Life commercials…

These steps are required in order to feign religious inspiration when appearing in a Christian Rock or Time-Life commercial to sell compilations of said Christian Rock:

1. Do not bathe.
2. Tilt head upward.
3. Close eyes tightly.
4. Raise eyebrows as if trying to open your eyes, but they are glued shut.
5. Sing loudly, with a mouth so wide open a cantaloupe could fit in there. Attempting to smile while singing helps. Squint eyebrows slightly, as if performing complex math calculations, when saying words like “Lord”, “worship”, and “abstinence”.
6a. Gentlemen, grow a goatee. Or play acoustic guitar. Or both.
6b. Ladies, wear a small gold chain with a cross on it. Or too much eyeliner. Your choice.

There ya have it, go forth and appear on TV!