One Microphone To Rule Them All

Tonight we were watching a news report on tiger habitats, where they employed Bob Barker‘s ample celebrity power to advertise their cause.  The venerable Mr. Barker is looking quite old these days, every bit of his 87 years.  I commented on this and Tasha said “well maybe he’s like Bilbo Baggins, who aged rapidly after passing on the Ring to Frodo.”

Immediate inspection of this theory holds up:

* Bob looks appreciably older now after enjoying a long career of relatively spry appearance on TV, just as Bilbo aged quickly after passing on the Ring.
* Drew Carey lost a significant amount of weight shortly after taking on Bob’s hosting duties on Price Is Right, just as Frodo did after acquiring the Ring.

One may draw some conclusions from this:

* Guests of the show will be staying at the inn of the Prancing Pony.
* Mr. Barker will soon depart the Grey Havens and travel to Valinor to be with the elves.
* Drew Carey will soon become consumed by his hosting role, unless he can convince the hiker from Cliff Hangers to drop The One Microphone from the top of the mountain into the fires of Mount Doom.
* The Mouth of Sauron will soon invite all remaining orcs to “COME ON DOWN.”
* The ultimate fate of the Maiar in Middle Earth will be decided by Gandalf and Saruman in the Showcase Showdown.
* Please remember to spay or neuter your goblins.