2005 Workout #69: It sure was…

Tonights workout was the culmination of the past week of shitty events. It began innocently enough with an elaboration on last night’s workout, which meant more intense pain of the triceps, back, pecs, et al. The chair training is a lot of fun, and I had the good fortune to get with my Dad so we had some laughs during the intensity. That helps. One of Dad’s favorites: whenever we go pushups, situps, or anything strenuous he usually asks me if I have a catcher’s mitt to catch his butthole when it flies at me. Always good for a laugh.

I got a suitable sweat up, which was good considering the fact that I knew a discussion was to take place during the second class that would likely take the rest of the night up. And it did.

This was when the whole complaint came to a head regarding Oedewaldt’s lack of sharing and our general lack of appreciation for this approach. Before I get too far into my analysis of this discussion I can say two things: it was in no way different from what I was expecting, and I don’t think the… intensity of our recent conversations was conveyed as well as it could’ve been.

That being said, I think that voiced his opinion on the matter in a very straightforward fashion, as is his way, and Sensei Brewer voiced his opinion in a very roundabout way using stories from his past experiences, which is his way. I think my good friend was looking for a little more straightforward approach from Sensei Brewer, however I saw grains of our point of view in what Sensei was saying. I also saw some things that showed that our approach in handling the situation was both correct and incorrect in the same space. It was a little like having tea and no tea at the same time, but that’s a whole other discussion.

Sensei’s assertion that the highest rank has the right to make the call was exactly what I expected. I appreciated his discussions about respect in the dojo, however I fear that these points that were likely made to make Oedewaldt understand that he needs to show respect for us echoed in a different way with him. I worry that he will see this as “everyone else needs to understand that I’m the top dog and suck it.” I think that some of Sensei Hartmans points went a little further to drive home the point that respect is a road that is walked both directions, but I think that the ephemeral approach that Sensei Brewer always takes may have muddied the waters a little.

I will be very curious to poll the electorate tomorrow at work to see what his perception was out of what the discussion brought. To be honest, I think that the only things this whole discussion really brought about was the reassertion of the fact that the seniority style of decision making is still intact (no big shocker there) and we, as adults, have the right to discuss things in a calm and rational matter. And that respect is a bidirectional path that is not necessarily defined by standard rules.

Will this change anything in the dojo? Time will tell. I will wager based on past experience with Oedewaldt that it will take very frank reminding that we too would like to teach, and that this fact will oftentimes be ignored in the guise of taking our ideas with intent to work them into the class. Then we’ll get treated to a brain numbing basic workout that may have some general ties to the theme that we wanted to have. Time and time again, in both dojo life and work life I am reminded that Kevin is essentially a social retard and needs to be treated as such. His heart is in the right place, but sometimes the things that should sink in just don’t. He is a good person, but he needs to learn how to respect and play better with others. I am guilty of the latter part of that, but blatent displays of disrespect have always been a hot button for me.

However, I am willing to give this a chance. As I have iterated at length I don’t really mind not teaching. I do mind people getting no respect shown to them that deserve it, and I will continue to be a vocal advocate to getting attitudes that don’t align with this adjusted. I will just be vocal outside of the dojo or in between classes in a private fashion. I was wrong to push my points hard at Kevin, but he frustrated me into Rabid Mode on Thursday and made it worse by seeming not to care. I have admitted that to him and we’re OK.

For a short recap, the only things I require to be happy are if Oedewaldt would defer the teaching duties once in awhile, and if he would stop correcting us nidans as if we were inferior to his abilities. I think it is very good that we have the go ahead to have dialogue about our concerns when they crop up, and even better that we don’t have to fear the reaper when we talk about things like this.

In the end, I am neither thrilled nor dismayed with the discussion that was had. I hope that the parts that were meant to pave a road of openness and respect actually do so. Barring that, I hope that doesn’t miss a workout in preparation for his Sandan so we can at least put a temporary end to the insanity. I feel better having aired out what dirty laundry that we did in both chat, blog, and subsequent discussions. I just hope it does some good too. I know I learned a few things.