Why am I Mr. Sparkle?

I was surfing around via Google tonight and found this site that has a Chinese translation of my last name, Dalcher, shown here:

Also, making a guest appearance is Dukes:

‘s last name:

And last, but certainly not least, -san:

Damned Chinese know everything, including how to translate my name for me.

I just looked at the website, and the guy running it is named Roy. The scenario that plays in my head: “Hi, I’m Roy. I’ma translate ya to Chinese right after I finish this six-pack and tha Nascar race. *belch* “