I was getting ready for bed tonight, and was about ready to begin conjuring strange dreams. I reach over to pull my floor lamp over so I can reach the knob to turn it off, and I notice a small blurry spot (my glasses were off) descend from the edge of my lamp RIGHT PAST MY FACE.
It hit my bedspread and began to scurry across my sheet, as I fumble hopelessly for my glasses. I could tell it knew the gig was up and was trying to hide out, and it momentarily made it. It had run along the side of a plastic tub lid that was propped behind my bed. I knew it was there, but I lacked anything to smite it with. I ran for a shoe but came up empty. By the time I had come back, the offending arachnid had vanished.
I was about to resign myself to having the jibblies all night and lay faith in the fact that I had scared the spider into retreating to the floor and the mess of boxes under my bed. This is about the time I notice a small blurry tan do come overtop my headboard on the other side from where I lost it. It made the error in judgement to attempt to cross the wide expanse of my headboard without horse or army, and this time the surprise was mine. I snatched up my +5 cardboard box lid of statuette keeping and PULVERIZED the spider. I (mostly) unintentionally smote the thing so hard that legs actually flew away from its body.
I scraped up the remainder of my fallen enemy with toilet paper and after some minor desecration sent it to Arachnid Valhalla. My experience gained reminded me strongly of tales told by my good friend
How sweet victory is… wait… my floor lamp just went out. That’s strange, I just changed the bulb. Drums…. they are coming. We can not get out. They are comiii………
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