Grammys Wrapup with Weather Control…

‘s Prius might be cool, but can it frickin’ control the weather? I have a hard time believing that this device is for real, because it just seems… retarded. Like something Dr. Evil would come up with. Why not strap Guile from Street Fighter to the roof of your car and just have him yell “Sonic Boom” every three seconds?

In other news today, I spent this evening watching my favorite awards show of the year: the Grammys. I was happy to see that Evanescence won one, that girl just has a cool voice. Their musical performances weren’t THAT bad this year. The Beatles Tribute that Sting, Dave Matthews, Vince Gill and Pharrell Williams did was awesome. All I could think about was how big the blast of Coors Light breath was that Sting received from Dave Matthews when they were singing into the same mic. Woof, that couldn’t have been good.

The Beatles won the Academy’s Presidents Award and they had Olivia Harrison and Yoko Ono accepting for George and John. Olivia made a nice speech about how much George would’ve liked this honor, Yoko made a nearly unintelligable speech about John that included somewhat broken English and some crying pauses. Come on, Yoko, you’ve lived in New York for forty years. You know English, get with it. It was somewhat funny that the audience couldn’t understand her any better than I could, and no one applauded at the pauses obviously left open for applause.

Ringo and Paul appeared from London via satellite. Ringo looked as ripped-out as ever, opening with “Hello, my name is Ringo.” Well, no shit. He went on mumbling something about peace and happiness before signing off. Paul looked like an old English baglady because his botox wore off or something; he was obviously thrilled because he was able to coax his withered corpse into flinging off a few chords of Yesterday before he messed up/ran out of time with an exasperated “Whew”, then thanked the crowd and the Academy. His rigor-mortised claws were clutching the Gibson Epiphone guitar that he used on Ed Sullivan, which is worth more than I ever will be. I want that guitar bad.

Man, I loved the Beatles when they were still alive.

One other amusing moment was after Christina Aguilara won her Grammy, she got up there holding together a dress that was half there, commenting how she didn’t want to have an incident like Janet Jackson did earlier this week. A funny thing happened when she got up to saying the name “Janet”. She tapered off and looked around almost like she was scared that some Grammy official had hired Guido with the order to whack anyone who mentions the name of That Whose Booby Hath Been Banned. I guess you had to see it, I know that didn’t come off as funny as it seems to me.

Also, OutKast‘s “Way You Move” is unfortunately one of the most infectious songs I’ve heard lately. Notice: I did not say it was an overly GOOD song. As a rule, I don’t like hip-hop or rap music very much, but this one is one of those that you can’t remove from your psyche after hearing it. I actually went and got it off of iTunes just so I could get it out of my head. It has not worked yet. Dammit.

That’s basically all I can come up with for a Grammy wrap-up. I like music and I like watching rich people act stupid. It’s got something for everyone. Oh, two last things… Mary J. Blige was wearing Big Bird’s pelt, and Snoop Dogg’s pimp costume is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I have the capacity to process.

Caffeine Detox Progress Update
A little worse on the Diet Coke front today, as I had my limit of four. I also had two glasses of water. I’m still at or under my limit, so today was also a success.